I started reading Tales of a Female Nomad...non-fiction....the author is writing about a separation with her husband. She asked for a two week separation and he said two months was good for him. Not what she expected, so she goes on vacation to do things that he wouldn't normally do with her. She goes out of the country and her big challenge rather than the fact about being out of the country and her usual comfort zone is the fact that unless she finds someone to have dinner with she'll have to eat alone. Funny as it sounds...I've felt exactly the same thing when my ex and I broke up. The author sees it as people see her as a failure for being alone, eating in a restaurant alone. The passage struck me cause it hit close to home, I felt that way -- not really as a failure but that people look at you differently when you eat at a restaurant alone. My first dinner alone out -- I went to a walk in Carl's Jr and felt more alone than ever. I don't think its necessarily being without a significant other as it is just being and feeling totally alone, unconnected to anyone. The thought of it makes me lonely all over again when I think about it today or whenever the memory crosses my conscious. You see one time when I was with my significant other (before the break up) we went to the movies and there was a man there alone and although I thought I never judge anyone, I thought how sad he's all by himself, I wondered why and I felt sorry for him. Because of my own thoughts I assumed that everyone would think the same of me. I know some people don't have any problem being or going where ever alone but, I'm not one of them (some people won't understand cause they've never been in the situation). What I read in this book makes me think that other people (other than myself) also feel the need to be connected to the the human race, someone, anyone, not only a significant other --otherwise they and I just feel alone, disconnected and lonely. Some may call it insecurity but I think its a need to be connected with one or many (friends) or to be at one with the world (many in the world). What do you think?
Life...It's All Good! A blog about things I find interesting and fun...I love to make new friends, read, share, music is a joy in my life. The amount of new, interesting, mind-boggling things I find on the internet amazes me everyday. I view life with fascination!
2 comments:
for the most part, i enjoy my own company very much, especially when reading or watching movies. but although i so need a substantial amount of private time, i also like the feeling of connection to others.
once, when i wasn't in a relationship, i ordered two drinks when i ordered a take-out pizza, because i didn't want anyone to know that i was taking the pizza home to eat it by myself. then, of course, i didn't have anyone to hold the drinks in the car and one spilled and ... *sigh*
Yep, I know what you mean about liking your own time..I do too, but somehow it always seems lonely eating alone or sometimes going out alone for entertainment.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts..the book is good. Following the travels of the author is like traveling through her eyes, making a connection to so many people she never would have met had she not taken the chance to travel alone and reach out to people she didn't know. To see that she did that...let her insecurities go and was successful in finding new friends that way was very inspirational to me...makes me believe in the human connection that exists between us all, but is often overlooked because of our fear of reaching out or our fear of being rejected.
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